The Man Who Loved Clowns

By June Rae Wood,
Putnam, 1992

13-year-old Delrita loves the uncle who shares her parents' home, but chooses to avoid developing friendships out of fear that people will make fun of him. Uncle Punky, you see, has Down Syndrome. As a result, his appearance is different from that of "normal" people, and he has some behaviours that are unusual for a 35-year-old man. For one thing, he absolutely adores clowns. He is also extremely patriotic, has a habit of chucking chicken bones behind the television set, and shouts "bang!" when anyone says "amen."

Delrita's parents have moved the family from a more rural setting to a larger town in hopes that Delrita will be able to connect with more young people her age, but Delrita is still reluctant to make friends with anyone. A budding friendship with Avanelle, who has her own secrets, is thwarted by misunderstanding.

When a tragic accident orphans Delrita, she and Uncle Punky go to live with another Aunt and Uncle. Already experiencing the anger that comes from grief, Delrita is further enraged by Aunt Queenie's strict clean-freak ways, and by Queenie's desire that Punky get a job at the local warehouse, where other people with Down have found meaningful employment. Another blow strikes when Punky is hospitalized due to a congenital heart condition. Will Delrita's life be beset by another tragedy?

This book gives a realistic glimpse into the lives of families where one person has Down Syndrome. Wood's brother had Down, so she brings real insight to the subject, allowing the reader to see that such people have much to teach us. She also tells a compelling story of friendship and loss.

Make sure you have tissues close at hand.

Grown-up girlfriends : finding and keeping real friends in the real world

by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver,
Tyndale House, 2007

Now this is a book worth reading on the subject of female friendship. Much better than the book I reviewed last August. Co-written by friends, Erin and Carrie, the book tackles a variety of subjects, including:

• levels of intimacy
• self-knowledge
• boundaries
• differences
• communication
• forgiveness
• letting go, and
• growing up

Along the way, each author shares personal stories of friendship successes, challenges, and failures, and each chapter concludes with questions for reflection.

A few highlights:

• I found it helpful to think of the "basket system" of friendship - not all friendships are of equal depth, and once one determines which "basket" a particular friendship belongs in, one better understands its limitations and/ or the expectations one can reasonably have within it.
• Most women have fears, and we all certainly have buttons that others can push. The authors show us how the fear dance works, our own roles within it, and how participating in the dance is unhelpful if we truly want to make and keep our friends.
• The section on conflict and confrontation is particularly helpful for those of us who prefer to avoid either at all costs. Successfully working through conflicts strengthens friendships and enables them to grow deeper.

I highly recommend this book to all women, but especially those who may feel lonely or friendless. It is possible to find friends, keep them, and be enriched through them. Smalley and Oliver show us how.

The Friends We Keep - Review and Giveaway Contest

by Sarah Zacharias Davis

Waterbrook Press, 2009

During a particularly painful time in her life, Davis learned how delightful–and wounding–women can be in friendship. She saw how some friendships end badly, others die slow deaths, and how a chance acquaintance can become that enduring friend you need.

The Friends We Keep is Sarah’s thoughtful account of her own story and the stories of other women about navigating friendship. Her revealing discoveries tackle the questions every woman asks:

• Why do we long so for women friends?

• Do we need friends like we need air or food or water?

• What causes cattiness, competition, and co-dependency in too many friendships?

• Why do some friendships last forever and others only a season?

• How do I foster friendship?

• When is it time to let a friend go, and how do I do so?

With heartfelt, intelligent writing, Sarah explores these questions and more with personal stories, cultural references and history, faith, and grace. In the process, she delivers wisdom for navigating the challenges, mysteries, and delights of friendship: why we need friendships with other women, what it means to be safe in relationship, and how to embrace what a friend has to offer, whether meager or generous.

Sarah Zacharias Davis is a senior advancement officer at Pepperdine University , having joined the university after working as vice president of marketing and development for Ravi Zacharias International Ministries and in strategic marketing for CNN. The daughter of best-selling writer Ravi Zacharias, Davis is the author of the critically-acclaimed Confessions from an Honest Wife and Transparent: Getting Honest About Who We are and Who We Want to Be. She graduated from Covenant College with a degree in education and lives in Los Angeles , California .

As a special bonus with this review, everyone who posts a comment by August 20 will be entered into a draw to win a copy of the book. A random draw will be made and announced here August 21. Good luck, "sisters"!